Saturday, 19 August 2017

Revelations with Tyler

"You won't believe it - Tyler asked to come and meet you."
"Is that so bad?"
"He was a complete shit to me after he saw us going to London."
"But hasn't he moved on? You said he thinks he may be gay.
We can't turn him away."
"You're so bloody tolerant, Giles."
"He was only spiteful to you because he was afraid of who he was."
"You know he fancies me?"
"Who doesn't?"
"That isn't the point."

Monday, 14 August 2017

Christmas Lunch, with the grandparents

"What about the sex?"
"Sex, there has to be sex, in a relationship, what about that?"
"Grandpa, maybe now's not the time ...."
"It was on National Service! You wouldn't believe what we got up to!"
"Ned, that was a long time ago"
"Nana's right, Grandpa, it was a long time back".
"But it's now for the youngsters, isn't it? Now for Fred, and his, well, not quite so young man! I mean you no offence, but you're not in the first flush are you?"
"No, indeed I'm not, but Fred seems to like me"
"Grandpa, it's OK, we're OK, we're doing our stuff, and it's all legal"
"More fun when it wasn't".
"Dinner Is Served". And Sandra put an end to it.

Saturday, 12 August 2017

Brotherly Love

"Adam - welcome!" He said. I was in the kitchen. Not sure what this visit was about, really. I didn't think Giles liked his brother. But it was "Hey ho, and this is Fred ..."

You could see the joins. Giles is much thinner, I think Adam dyes his hair, but there's something in the eyes that says they're brothers.

Giles made us lunch. We were alone in the conservatory, with drinks. Adam asked "Are you two a fixture?" How do you answer that?
"I love your brother, if that's what you mean".
"But you're very young. Things might change".
"No they won't."

And then he changed tack.

"What do you see in him?"
"He has serenity"
"What's that?"
"Peacefulness, like most people don't have. Giles has it."
"I was hoping you were going to say something else!"
"Yeah, well, he has that too, but when you have your arms round Giles, it's peace".
"Trust my brother to corner the market I can't even buy into!"
"I think he said you'd been married three times?"
"Yes, three disasters, one with gorgeous daughters"
"Do you see them?"
"Too little. It just doesn't work when you're not on site. I try."

Then again

"Did you know your ... path before you met Giles?"
"I stalked him!"
"Yeah - home, work, day by day. I really wanted him"
"I'm really happy for him, for you, but I just can't see the appeal!"
"You're not gay, you don't have to".

And then Giles appeared.

"Grandpa's lasagna!"
"You always got that right!"
"And a whole lot of salad he wouldn't really have approved of!"

They were quite cute together. Maybe Adam would get used to me.

Being On The Edge

BEING ON THE EDGE: it's often said of bishops and other leadership types that they've "reached out" to or otherwise communicated with communities on the edge, the margins, the minorities.

It's only in Church of England terms that I feel on any edge at all. In the Baptist church where I work, I feel right in the centre. The C of E could grow up about sexuality at any time. But it chooses not to, whilst praising those who behave as if it might.

In the real world, I live on the edge of poverty - the common story of too little income and too much rent. That's a much harder thing to put right. Or rather, it's easily resolved, but it's hard to find anyone with the political will to do it.

Thinking out loud.

Thursday, 10 August 2017

WILDE (1997): tonight's film

WILDE (1997): tonight's film. I was sure it was in the collection, but my friend Alan said it was on the box, so I watched it there, because I couldn't find it on the shelves.

Hard to tell if Stephen Fry is playing anyone but himself, but then did Oscar Wilde? Maybe that makes it an excellent casting. I'd forgotten the role of Robbie Ross, so much the nicer and better lover that Bosie Douglas. And the bewildered kindness of his wife Constance, who beat him in the race to the grave. From such a distance it's hard to comprehend the soul-destruction of scandal in that kind of society.

I've seen it before but what struck me afresh was the children. I remember reading his shorter fiction (OUP, I think) and finding the stories mawkishly soppy, but deeply affecting. And that was then, when I was a harder and nastier brute than I am now. Sentimentality comes very easily to me, especially when it involves children, and I was left wondering whether that first part of his adult life was lived in order to have small people to tell stories to, and to be loved by.

I'm older now than Oscar, or Constance, or Robbie Ross, lived to be. And I've no small people to tell stories to.

It was a less fluffy experience than I was expecting. But worth it.
On being given the once over: "that'll be titanium" said the local tattoo and piercing parlour manager about the plate in my once-broken wrist. "Top quality stuff".

My late father would have agreed. He was a scrap metal merchant, and could identify titanium from its sparks.

I'm wondering if I should put it in my will.

Sunday, 6 August 2017

Kyle & Fred

"I was married. Got two daughters."
"I had no idea."
"No reason why you should."
"Did you love her?"
"That's not what guys ask."
"But did you?"
"A bit. Enough. Not enough."